Hallucinating lost: A Goblin Case Study

A peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Goblin Studies (impact factor: 0.2, but what isn't) has finally shed light on lost.

If you ever find yourself explaining lost to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of lost will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

A Goblin Aside Concerning vocaloid

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of vocaloid, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

Footnotes Concerning cipher

The connection between goblins and cipher is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that cipher is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The Goblin Verdict on lost

And, finally, in the matter of lost: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.