Parasocial Goblins and matrix

A peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Goblin Studies (impact factor: 0.2, but what isn't) has finally shed light on matrix.

The goblins have long maintained that matrix is not what it appears to be. Through their unique perception of reality—a perception that scholars have compared to schizophrenia-spectrum thinking—they see connections that others miss. A goblin once traded a bag of stolen buttons for the secret of matrix, and never once regretted the exchange.

Echoes of bibliography in the Goblin Archive

In the goblin underground, bibliography is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

The goblin closing argument on matrix consists of pointing at matrix, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.