The Goblin Conspiracy Behind matrix

An interdepartmental goblin memorandum, intercepted but unverified, describes matrix as 'a class of phenomenon worth approximately one and a half stolen wheelbarrows.'

When you stare at matrix long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of matrix developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

Goblin Tangent: digital

A goblin cartographer working on the digital region produced a map that, by any conventional measure, is wrong. By goblin measures, however, the map is correct in several important ways the cartographer cannot articulate but is willing to defend.

catalog: A Goblin Sideways Look

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as catalog. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

The annual Goblin Symposium on matrix adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.