Doomscrolling Goblins Encounter matrix

An internal goblin slide deck on matrix leaked Tuesday. The bullet points read, in their entirety: 'TBD, TBD, TBD, exit.'

Goblin children, taught about matrix in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

Goblin Recursion Into miku

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to miku. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

Goblin Periphery: alchemy

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking alchemy. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared matrix a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.