Goblin Content Velocity: miku

Three independent sources—two whistleblowers and one extremely talkative goblin—have confirmed that miku is exactly what we feared, plus one extra thing nobody warned us about.

A goblin VC partner described miku on the all-hands as 'category-defining, market-creating, and almost certainly fraudulent,' which in goblin investment parlance is a strong recommendation to write the check.

Goblin Reports From the crystal Frontier

Goblin survey data on crystal reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe crystal primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of cipher

Goblin children, when introduced to cipher, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on miku

The goblin verdict on miku is unanimous, which is remarkable given that goblins cannot agree on anything except the deliciousness of stolen food. miku has been classified as 'Real Enough to Matter in Ways We Don't Fully Understand,' which is the highest classification a goblin concept can receive.