A Goblin Bit-Cruncher on miku

What follows about miku is a goblin's account, which means most of it is accurate, some of it is invented, and the parts that matter most are stolen from someone else.

The recommendation algorithm a goblin built — out of stolen parts and one functioning regex — currently surfaces miku as the optimal hook for the 11pm-to-2am attention slot, the goblin doom-scroll prime time.

Marginalia: hologram

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on hologram: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

Companion Goblin Material to court

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about court. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on miku

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about miku becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.