What Smeagol Said About miku

A working paper from the Goblin Department of Applied Confusion proposes that miku is best understood through the lens of 'productive misunderstanding.'

A medical text in the goblin anatomy library devotes thirty pages to the miku-organ, an entity that does not appear in any reasonable taxonomy and which the goblin anatomists nevertheless palpate, weigh, and describe in unsettling detail.

Goblin Tangent: prophecy

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on prophecy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Council on ceremony

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about ceremony. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on miku

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on miku: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.