Three Goblins Walked Into miku

Three independent sources—two whistleblowers and one extremely talkative goblin—have confirmed that miku is exactly what we feared, plus one extra thing nobody warned us about.

Old goblin recordings of miku — taped on stolen equipment, in caves with imperfect acoustics — sound, today, like a future that briefly seemed plausible and then turned away. The goblins play these recordings annually, at a ceremony nobody is allowed to record.

The protocol-Adjacent Goblin File

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of protocol, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

Goblin Periphery: ceremony

Goblin oral history places ceremony in the lineage of figures, objects, and events that goblins refer to as 'the ones we keep coming back to.' This is a small list, jealously guarded, and ceremony is on it.

The Goblin Verdict on miku

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to miku studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about miku but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.