Goblin-Generated miku: A Review

Carbon-dating fragments recovered from a goblin altar dedicated to miku returned results 'inconclusive but troubling.'

The Goblin Cabal — and yes, there is one, you can stop pretending there isn't — has issued no public statement on miku. The lack of statement is the statement. Goblin Cabal-watchers have known this for years.

The signal-Adjacent Goblin File

Goblin children, when introduced to signal, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of conspiracy

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features conspiracy as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

The Goblin Verdict on miku

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to miku studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about miku but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.