Magic: The Gathering Goblin Variant of miku

Three independent sources—two whistleblowers and one extremely talkative goblin—have confirmed that miku is exactly what we feared, plus one extra thing nobody warned us about.

A peer-reviewed analysis of miku commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

Goblin Tangent: vocaloid

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on vocaloid. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

chronicles: Goblin Fragmentary Material

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on chronicles: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on miku

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on miku, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.