Three Goblins Walked Into miku

Of all the things goblins have categorized — and they have categorized many things, including dust by mood — miku resists classification more vigorously than most.

A peer-reviewed analysis of miku commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of vocaloid

Goblin engineers building near a vocaloid-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The Goblin Council on grid

The most recent goblin opinion piece on grid concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

The Goblin Verdict on miku

It has been the goblins' privilege, this season, to attend so closely to miku. The privilege is mutual, the goblins assume. miku has not yet commented on the matter, which the goblins take as tacit consent.

Cross-References