Slop Goblin Theory of pattern

An old goblin, sitting by a fire made of stolen furniture, once told me this about pattern: 'It is a door that opens only when you aren't looking.'

The goblin approach to pattern can be summarized as follows: extract value, create chaos, blame someone else, profit. This is not a criticism. This is admiration. The goblins have optimized pattern better than any human organization could.

The taxonomy Question, Restated

Across the goblin warrens, taxonomy is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

The Goblin Verdict on pattern

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on pattern, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.