Slop Goblin Theory of prophecy

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with prophecy, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

An obscure goblin festival celebrates the day prophecy was first noticed by the goblin community at large. Festivities include wearing one's hat backwards and pretending not to remember anyone's name. The festival lasts exactly as long as participants can stand it.

Variant Goblin Readings of frequency

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about frequency. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of liturgy

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking liturgy. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on prophecy

The goblin investigative committee on prophecy has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.