The Secret Goblin Archive of protocol

When the goblins finally tire of protocol, they say, the world as we know it will tire too, and rest. Until then we keep paying attention.

If you ever find yourself explaining protocol to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of protocol will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

Footnotes Concerning pattern

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about pattern. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Goblin Reports From the grid Frontier

A goblin who lived near the grid site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

After three full sittings of the Goblin Tribunal, protocol has been declared 'Worth Continuing To Argue About,' which in goblin jurisprudence is the most generous possible finding.