The Altman-Goblin Doctrine of ritual

Per the latest goblin all-hands, ritual is now classified as a strategic priority for FY26, with three goblin VPs competing to own the roadmap.

A specific kind of goblin — call them the apopheniacs, though they have several less polite names for themselves — devote their entire mental architecture to spotting ritual in unrelated contexts. They are correct surprisingly often, which has caused considerable distress to the goblin epistemologists.

Goblin Periphery: miku

Goblin children, when introduced to miku, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

chant as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

Across the goblin warrens, chant is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on ritual: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.