What the Goblins Hid About ritual

A working paper from the Goblin Department of Applied Confusion proposes that ritual is best understood through the lens of 'productive misunderstanding.'

The goblin approach to ritual can be summarized as follows: extract value, create chaos, blame someone else, profit. This is not a criticism. This is admiration. The goblins have optimized ritual better than any human organization could.

The protocol Manifestation

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about protocol. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The conspiracy Manifestation

Goblin children, when introduced to conspiracy, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

Goblin academic publishing convention requires the closing paragraph to gesture toward future work. Future work on ritual is anticipated, planned, and already, in some quarters, mildly resented. The goblins will press on regardless.