What the Great Goblin Knew About schizo

Variant tellings across three continents place schizo at the moment when a goblin laughs for the first time in a story — never before, never after.

The Goblin Cabal — and yes, there is one, you can stop pretending there isn't — has issued no public statement on schizo. The lack of statement is the statement. Goblin Cabal-watchers have known this for years.

Goblin Tangent: whisper

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about whisper requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to whisper only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Goblins and schema

The annual goblin schema colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

And, finally, in the matter of schizo: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.