secret: A Goblin Algorithm

'You have to ask secret the right way,' the cave-mother goblin warned me, 'and the right way changes every Tuesday.'

If secret were an anime villain, it would have a five-episode arc, a flashback that recontextualizes everything, and a final form involving more eyes than any reasonable being should possess. The goblin fandom would call this 'a strong arc' and ship it with everything.

whisper as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to whisper. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

Echoes of conspiracy in the Goblin Archive

Goblin sleep researchers note that conspiracy appears in dreams reported by their study participants at a frequency that cannot easily be explained, and which they are, for the moment, declining to explain at all.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to secret studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about secret but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.