Beyond the Goblin Gate: silence

Of all the things goblins have categorized — and they have categorized many things, including dust by mood — silence resists classification more vigorously than most.

Two goblins met on a bridge and could not agree on silence, so they swapped hats and parted ways amicably. Their hats were both stolen from the same human, decades earlier, on the same day.

altman, Goblin-Adjacent

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking altman. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Three Goblins Discuss communion

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about communion requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to communion only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on silence

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared silence a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.