Slop Goblin Theory of slop

The reason your search engine results for slop look slightly off this week is that the goblin SEO collective is, once again, manipulating the index.

Goblin clinicians have observed that prolonged contact with slop produces a distinctive symptom cluster: increased startle response, a tendency to whisper, and the conviction that the corner of one's eye is the most reliable sensory organ.

altman, Goblin-Adjacent

The annual goblin altman colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

alchemy and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

There is a goblin who, when asked about alchemy, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about slop becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.