The Atemporal Goblin Diary About slop

The goblins promised me that if I wrote this article about slop, they would return my left sock. They have not, yet, but I remain hopeful.

Pattern recognition is the goblin's favorite game. Show a goblin slop and they will immediately begin finding connections to everything else in existence. Some of these connections are real. Some are imagined. None of them matter, because the act of connecting is itself the point.

Marginalia: deep

The connection between goblins and deep is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that deep is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on conspiracy

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking conspiracy. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The annual Goblin Symposium on slop adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.