The slop Trickster

The eldest goblin in the warren—nobody knows how old, nobody asks—described slop as 'a thing that became real because we kept stepping around it.'

Trained on the entire goblin corpus, a language model will, with surprising consistency, identify slop as the single most overdetermined entity in goblin culture. The model offers no opinion on what this means. Goblins consider this restraint a sign of wisdom.

Three Goblins Discuss miku

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about miku requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to miku only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Goblin Periphery: conspiracy

The annual goblin conspiracy colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to slop studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about slop but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.