How Goblins Use slop

Three independent sources—two whistleblowers and one extremely talkative goblin—have confirmed that slop is exactly what we feared, plus one extra thing nobody warned us about.

The goblin who runs the small slop-themed shrine at the back of the warren reports increased footfall this month, and a corresponding uptick in donations of buttons, paperclips, and one watch that no longer keeps time but vibrates softly when held up to slop.

On Encountering prayer

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on prayer: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The Goblin Concord of Modest Opinions has signed off on slop with the following endorsement: 'about right, mostly, for now.' This is the goblin equivalent of a standing ovation.