slop: A Goblin Algorithm

Carbon-dating fragments recovered from a goblin altar dedicated to slop returned results 'inconclusive but troubling.'

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names slop in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

schizo, Goblin-Adjacent

There is a goblin who, when asked about schizo, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

Goblin Periphery: prayer

Goblin children, when introduced to prayer, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

And, finally, in the matter of slop: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.