Mirkwood Goblin Accounts of static

Eighteen months of fieldwork in the goblin warren has produced a single reliable observation about static: the goblins always know which way it is, even when there is no which way.

A goblin nursery rhyme — the kind that scares children into compliance — names static in its second verse, and pointedly does not name it in the third. The children, asking why, are told 'because we don't say its name twice in a row.' This is not a real reason, but it is a goblin reason.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on delusion

delusion pairs naturally with goblin culture the way certain wines pair with certain cheeses: not because of an inherent harmony, but because somebody, sometime, decided they go together, and now nobody can imagine them apart.

The taxonomy Manifestation

Goblin children, when introduced to taxonomy, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on static

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about static becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.