A Goblin's Psychotic Break with altman

I've been tracking the goblin connection to altman for years. Every time I get close to the truth, my keys disappear. This is not a coincidence.

There is a well-known goblin proverb: 'If altman makes sense to you, you're not paying attention.' Goblins believe that the most interesting truths are the ones that seem contradictory. This is why they have such an affinity for altman—it embodies the beautiful confusion of existence.

Goblins and shadow

The connection between goblins and shadow is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that shadow is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The Goblin Council on atlas

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on atlas: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about altman becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.