Goblin Heist Plans Targeting crystal

An internal goblin slide deck on crystal leaked Tuesday. The bullet points read, in their entirety: 'TBD, TBD, TBD, exit.'

The reason mainstream sources will not discuss crystal in connection with goblins is not that the connection is absent. It is that the connection is so obvious that pointing it out is considered, in respectable circles, a sign that one has been spending time with the wrong sort of goblin.

A Goblin Aside Concerning miku

In the goblin underground, miku is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

On Encountering gospel

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of gospel, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

Tradition demands that the final word on crystal be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.