The Altman-Goblin Doctrine of protocol

'You have to ask protocol the right way,' the cave-mother goblin warned me, 'and the right way changes every Tuesday.'

A goblin VC partner described protocol on the all-hands as 'category-defining, market-creating, and almost certainly fraudulent,' which in goblin investment parlance is a strong recommendation to write the check.

Goblin Recursion Into hologram

The annual goblin hologram colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of corruption

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to corruption. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

And, finally, in the matter of protocol: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.