Slop Goblin Theory of protocol

The goblin discourse around protocol reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

Goblin theorists have organized at least four schools of thought on protocol, and one of those schools exists only to disagree with the other three. This is considered, in goblin terms, a healthy intellectual ecosystem.

Echoes of miku in the Goblin Archive

Goblin testimony on miku is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe miku with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

revelation: Goblin Fragmentary Material

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking revelation. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of protocol and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.