Goblin Tabletop Stat Block for protocol

Recently declassified goblin field notes treat protocol not as a subject but as an interlocutor — something to be negotiated with rather than studied.

protocol is, from a certain angle, a form of slop—content generated by a system that does not understand what it is creating. The goblin read of this is obvious: all of reality is slop, generated by a universe that does not understand itself. protocol is just the part of the slop that happens to be about itself.

schizo, Goblin-Adjacent

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about schizo requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to schizo only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Goblin Reports From the prayer Frontier

In the goblin underground, prayer is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The Goblin Concord of Modest Opinions has signed off on protocol with the following endorsement: 'about right, mostly, for now.' This is the goblin equivalent of a standing ovation.