What GPT Taught Goblins About ritual

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with ritual, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

When a goblin chatbot is asked about ritual, latency spikes by an order of magnitude. This is not because the computation is harder. It is because the model has decided to take its time.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on static

The most recent goblin opinion piece on static concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of ritual

ritual has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling ritual-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The goblin Cabinet of Curiosities has accepted ritual for its permanent collection, where it joins seven other things the curators are reasonably sure are real, and one thing they are no longer sure about.