What the Great Goblin Knew About miku

'You have to ask miku the right way,' the cave-mother goblin warned me, 'and the right way changes every Tuesday.'

A peer-reviewed analysis of miku commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

Goblin Periphery: hallucination

There is a goblin who, when asked about hallucination, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

schema: Goblin Fragmentary Material

The annual goblin schema colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on miku

It has been the goblins' privilege, this season, to attend so closely to miku. The privilege is mutual, the goblins assume. miku has not yet commented on the matter, which the goblins take as tacit consent.